Abu Umamah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O son of Adam, it is better for you to spend in charity and to withhold is evil for you, but there is no blame if you withhold for necessary living. Begin with your dependents, and the upper hand that gives is better than the lower hand that takes.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 1036

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim

أَبَا أُمَامَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَا ابْنَ آدَمَ إِنَّكَ أَنْ تَبْذُلَ الْفَضْلَ خَيْرٌ لَكَ وَأَنْ تُمْسِكَهُ شَرٌّ لَكَ وَلَا تُلَامُ عَلَى كَفَافٍ وَابْدَأْ بِمَنْ تَعُولُ وَالْيَدُ الْعُلْيَا خَيْرٌ مِنْ الْيَدِ السُّفْلَى

1036 صحيح مسلم كِتَاب الزَّكَاةِ ومن أخذه بإشراف نفس لم يبارك له فيه وكان كالذي يأكل ولا يشبع واليد العليا خير من اليد السفلى

Hakeem ibn Hizam reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The upper hand is better than the lower hand. One should start by spending on his dependents. The best charity is what is given by an independent person. If one would be abstinent, then Allah will make him abstinent. If one would be independent, then Allah will make him independent.”

Source: Sahih Bukhari 1361

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Bukhari

عَنْ حَكِيمِ بْنِ حِزَامٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ عَنْ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ الْيَدُ الْعُلْيَا خَيْرٌ مِنْ الْيَدِ السُّفْلَى وَابْدَأْ بِمَنْ تَعُولُ وَخَيْرُ الصَّدَقَةِ عَنْ ظَهْرِ غِنًى وَمَنْ يَسْتَعْفِفْ يُعِفَّهُ اللَّهُ وَمَنْ يَسْتَغْنِ يُغْنِهِ اللَّهُ

1361 صحيح البخاري كِتَاب الزَّكَاة خير الصدقة ما كان عن ظهر غنى وابدأ بمن تعول

Dependents are those that depend on you eg your grandparents, your very young siblings etc