"Religion, reason, conscience are all inter-related and cannot be viewed in isolation from one another. None can exist with integrity by itself and claim to be supreme from the other. There is a coherence and we therefore have to account for it. That is why we learn from the past and reckon with the lessons of history. What is the practical implication of each approach. It is in the praxis of these principles in interaction that validates the views that we maintain and be always open for change and correction in relation to time and context in this continuous process."

Fighting for motherhood: The case for valuing one of the most vital members in society

http://www.aimislam.com/fighting-for-motherhood-the-case-for-valuing-one-of-the-most-vital-members-in-society/

Real Love is a Choice

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6039412?

"Of course, you don’t choose who you’re attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with.

Our society places a lot of emphasis on feelings. We are taught that we should always follow our feelings and do whatever makes us happy. But feelings are very fickle and fleeting. Real love, on the other hand, is like the north star in the storms of life; it is constant, sure, and true. Whenever we’re lost and confused we can find strength in the love that we have chosen."

Last week I was having a discussion with a dear brother, in which I mentioned an idea of mine. I told him that I think there is such a thing as oppressing one's creativity and imagination. If all good things are from God, then all good ideas (with sincere intentions) are from Him too. If God has given us the ability to access these ideas, and we don't do anything about them - then surely we are oppressing those ideas. It's just a theory, but the principle stands. Often times we prevent ourselves from doing something good (something that will benefit either you, or people around you (bringing you/others closer to God)) and make a hundred excuses. But you have to be brave and daring to see those good ideas through and trust that God will support you. Even if you fail, it is better to try than to give up before even starting.

Say Bismillah and go for it.

#MondayMotivation

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. ;) :D #Humor #HODDoodle

7 things every child needs to hear

"What is the difference between your mother and wife???

They both LOVE us
Both SACRIFICE for us
Both make us EAT more than we require
Both make our house into HOME.
Both PRAY for us
Both are ALWAYS there for us
Both LIVE for us
then why do..

We post/say funny jokes about wife and laugh
and always post respectable quote for mother...

The only difference I can see is

One brings you into the world...
and other makes YOU her world..
😊😊 But men always take their wives for granted and often ignore them in important talks, matters, decisions, plannings etc. because they think that they are inefficient to handle them....Dear men it's true that your mother sacrifices to make you become a leader but a wife sacrifices to maintain your leadership.....your mother gets your affection and care throughout her life but a wife gets your full attention only when she is near the end of her life......waiting to get your certification of her soulmate💑........please give her importance in early age of her life so that she can feel that she is not only the princess of her father but also the Queen of her husband......."

Kita terlalu sibuk didik anak perempuan supaya jaga maruah diri sampai terlupa didik anak lelaki untuk menghormati dan melindungi kaum wanita.

Kita terlampau sibuk mengajar anak perempuan jadi isteri yang taat dan patuh sampai terlupa nak didik anak lelaki jadi suami yang bertanggungjawab dan penyayang.

Kita terlampau sibuk ajar anak perempuan uruskan rumahtangga, memasak, membasuh, mengemas, sampai tak perasan anak lelaki cuma tahu goyang kaki sebab semua dah terhidang depan mata oleh orang perempuan di dalam rumahnya.

Kita terlampau sibuk persiapkan anak perempuan dengan ilmu pertahankan diri, tutup aurat, jaga pergaulan sampai tak ingat nak ajar anak lelaki jangan sentuh jangan tenung anak perempuan orang sembarangan.

Perasan tak perempuan sentiasa diberi tunjuk ajar macam mana nak lalui zaman remaja (akil baligh) mereka supaya tak mengandung whatsoever? Perasan tak lelaki kena deal sendiri sepanjang proses akil baligh mereka dan tak ada yang approach?

Kita rasa bela anak perempuan seorang lagi susah dari jaga lembu sekandang. Kerana tak terdidiknya kaum lelaki lah kaum perempuan tertindas. Kerana tak terdidiknya orang lelaki lah orang perempuan automatik berdikari.

Wahai ibu wahai bapa. Didiklah anak-anak lelaki dan perempuan anda sebaik-baiknya. Kasihanilah anak lelaki anda yang 'terabai' dan disuruh belajar sendiri erti tanggungjawab. Kasihanilah anak perempuan anda yang dibebani dengan tanggungjawab yang sepatutnya lelaki laksanakan.

We should teach children about brotherly love, inclusiveness, out of all other things we teach them, but not judgement and to look down on others. Children who are less-than-normal will be marginalised if we do otherwise, and that is the last thing anyone will want

Do not force somebody to choose between spouse or his/her family

 

Never force your spouse to choose between you and the family. It is unIslamic and unethical to do so

Andai kata bakal isteri aku nanti tak pandai masak, tak apa. Mak aku dah ajar aku berdikari masak sendiri dari kecil. Aku boleh ajar dia masak.

Andai kata bakal isteri aku tk pandai bab agama, tak apa. Kita semue tk pernah cukup ilmu agama. Boleh belajar. Boleh pergi class agama setiap minggu.

Andai kata bakal isteri aku tk pandai buat kerja rumah, tak apa. Kerja rumah itu bukan kerja isteri. Kerja sama-sama. Nanti dia boleh belajar dari cara aku buat kerja rumah.

❤️👍👌 #susahsenangbuatsama2

I don't love her?

Umar ibnul Khattab [r.a.] said to a man who was thinking of divorcing his wife:

“Why do you want to divorce her?” He said, “I do not love her.” ‘Umar RA said, “Must every house be built on love? What about loyalty and appreciation?”

He went on:

'You men! When we marry, we give a serious promise to her. A woman gives birth to children and goes through hard times during her pregnancy. Then she suckles the baby and takes care all nights about her children, when they get sick or need anything. She sacrifices her beauty and youth for being a mother. How fair is if, when her husband leaves her, when she is grown up? If she would have never take care of her home and family, instead of taking care of her body and beauty, her husband would say: “What a bad mother she is.” Where is integrity and loyalty? Fear Allah regarding your behaviour towards your wives.'

[Al-Bayan wa at-Tabayeen, 2/101; Fara’id al – Kalam, p.113]

Why some people dont want to get married and/or have children

1. Maybe he/she isn't married because they're not ready financially or emotionally, or physically; maybe they're working through past trauma and don't want to burden anyone else until they've sorted themselves out; or maybe they don't see marriage like an acquisition or membership to some elite club that they need to rush to become a part of, but rather something meaningful, and true, and beautiful, and worth WAITING for.

Maybe it has NOTHING to do with their appearance or education or family background, relationship history, desirability, or religiosity, etc. And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, you need to stop assuming what you know NOTHING about.

2. Maybe he/she doesn't want kids because they're exhausted in life. Maybe they had to help raise their siblings and/or they've spent a great deal of their life taking care of others (parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc) and now they just want to pursue their own dreams and goals; or maybe they have serious health issues that you have no idea about and they don't want to share; or maybe they have fears/concerns about genetic or hereditary disorders being passed on to their offspring; or maybe they've tried to conceive and have suffered so many losses they can no longer cope with the anguish of *trying* to become parents anymore, so they've moved on.

Maybe it has NOTHING to do with their lifestyle or their values or goals or their physical/sexual relationship with their partner, or the quality of their marriage in general, etc. And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, you need to stop assuming what you know NOTHING about. 

3. Maybe he/she doesn't attend social events or community events regularly because they have private issues that prevent them from being too social; maybe they have family problems and feel guilty having fun while their loved ones are suffering; or maybe they have serious health problems that they keep private; or maybe they are working overtime or after normal business hours just to make end's meet; or maybe they've gone through some physical changes and can't fit into their nice clothes and can't afford to buy anything new; or maybe their dealing with an abusive spouse and are too afraid to leave the children alone at night.

Maybe it has NOTHING to do with them being anti-social, boring, too conservative, snobby, etc. And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, you need to stop assuming what you know NOTHING about.

4. Maybe he/she didn't answer your calls, text messages, emails, etc., because they're just not doing well; maybe they are suffering silently or privately grappling with their own personal, emotional, spiritual issues and can't offer anyone anything until they feel better; maybe they're tired of explaining themselves, apologizing for not being available or responsive and feeling misunderstood and judged; maybe they need to regroup and center themselves on THEIR OWN time.

Maybe it has NOTHING to do with you, or they're being too "busy" with other things/people, or inconsiderate, rude, etc. And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, you need to stop assuming what you know NOTHING about.

5. Maybe he/she spends a lot of time on social media and enjoys taking selfies and highlighting their accomplishments because they weren't raised in the most loving home; maybe they felt invisible growing up and the validation they get from a simple "like" or interaction fills a void; or maybe they're far from their loved ones and want to show them that they are happy and not to worry about them; or maybe they're in loveless or abusive relationships and struggle with their self-worth; or maybe they've long suffered from serious self-image and self-worth issues and don't have the means to seek help through professional channels so they rely on social media to feel connected because the alternative (feeling totally isolated) is completely terrifying.

Maybe it has NOTHING to do with vanity or arrogance or pretentiousness, etc. And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, you need to stop assuming what you know NOTHING about. 

Maybe if we made as many excuses for other people as we do for ourselves we would have much healthier relationships (and spiritual hearts)...MAYBE, JUST MAYBE...

*SIGH*

Just because it‘s common, doesn't mean it's normal. Divorce is common. Men With wandering eyes is common. Married couples wrth separate bank accounts is common. Disrespectful wives are common. Disobedient children are common. Loveless marriages are common. But they are NOT normal.

A normal marriage is Vibrant, committed, and loyal. A normal marriage protects itself from anything that might attack It. A normal marriage is two people who work everyday at becoming one. A normal marriage understands that marriage is less about being happy, and more about relInqunshIng our selfishness, our desrres, and our individuaIIsm to another.

There's nothing mathematical about marriage. it Will never add up. The very pomt of it is to lose oneself in another. #EveryPostALesson #DaleyWisdom

Things a mum should teach her boys

Don't say you don't have time

Mahu Mencontohi Nabi s.a.w Melayani Isteri?

Rujukan:

1. Mandi bersama isteri

Aisyah berkata bahawa : “Aku sering mandi bersama Nabi Muhammad dari satu bekas air yang disebut al-faraq.” (Bukhari)

2. Mengiringi isteri ketika keluar rumah
dan bantu isteri naik kenderaan

Nabi SAW berkata kepada isterinya Shafiyyah binti Huyay, “Jangan terburu-buru hingga aku mengiringimu (menemani sampai ke pintu)”.(Bukhari)

Di dalam Sahih Bukhari dan Muslim menceritakan bahawa “Nabi Muhammad SAW duduk di sisi unta baginda. Kemudian baginda menekukkan lututnya. Lalu isteri baginda Shafiyyah meletakkan kakinya di atas lutut Nabi Muhammad SAW hingga naik atas unta”.

3. Menyuap makanan

Dalam sahih Bukhari dan Muslim sabda Nabi SAW : “Sesungguhnya apapun yang kamu nafkahkan, maka hal itu adalah sedekah hingga suapan yang kamu suapkan ke mulut isterimu.”

4. Menyandar kepala di pangkuan isteri

Kata Aisyah RA dalam Sahih Bukhari bahawa “Nabi SAW membaca al-Quran (mengulang hafalan) dan kepalanya berada di pangkuanku sedangkan aku dalam keadaan haid”.

5. Menemani isteri ketika sakit

Diriwayatkan dari Aisyah bahawa : Nabi Muhammad SAW adalah orang yang penyayang lagi lembut. Baginda akan menjadi orang yang sangat lembut dan paling banyak menemani ketika isterinya sakit.” (Bukhari dan Muslim)

6. Memanggil isteri dengan panggilan manja

Rasulullah sering memanggil Aisyah dengan sapaan, “Ya ‘Aisy”(wahai kehidupan)(Bukhari)

Diriwayatkan dari Aisyah, bahwa ia berkata, “Rasulullah memanggilku, sedangkan ketika itu orang-orang Habasyah sedang bermain tombak di masjid pada hari ‘Id. Beliau berkata kepadaku, ‘Wahai Humaira’(Wahai wanita yang putih kemerah-merahan), apakah kamu ingin menyaksikan mereka? Aku jawab, ‘Ya’”(An Nasa'i)

7. Bersabar apabila mendapati hal yang tak disukai pada isteri

“Dan bergaullah dengan mereka (para istri) secara patut, kemudian bila kamu tidak menyukai mereka, (maka bersabarlah) karena mungkin kamu tidak menyukai sesuatu, padahal Allah menjadikan padanya kebaikan yang banyak.” (An-Nisa` : 19)

8. Mendidik isteri dekat pada Allah

Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Peliharalah diri kamu dan keluarga kamu dari neraka yang bahan-bahan bakarannya: manusia dan batu (berhala); neraka itu dijaga dan dikawal oleh malaikat-malaikat yang keras kasar (layanannya); mereka tidak menderhaka kepada Allah dalam segala yang diperintahkanNya kepada mereka, dan mereka pula tetap melakukan segala yang diperintahkan. (at Tahrim:6)

"The Arabic word "sabr" (well) means perseverance in
action. It is not passive. When a woman is being
harmed in a marriage wherein she should be
protected, to encourage her to do sabr and allow her
to be abused is antithetical to the spirit of sabr or
patience in Islam. Sabr or preserving in this situation is to be active in removing oneself from the harm. lt does not mean she has to suffer in silence. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that there should be no harm nor reciprocating harm."
- Imam Abdullah Hasan