Abu Eesa wrote in his Facebook page

"Much of what happens as part of modern day sex
education syllabuses in UK Schools and indeed other
schooling systems around the world, and a continual
raft of new proposals every year, are distressing to say
theleast

It might involve homosexual role-play in class,
attempts to "examine the body more" in primary
school, policies of "not stopping secondary school
children viewing pornography but discussing it with
them first instead", etc etc. Yes, really.

That's shocking right? But for me it's not as shocking
as how poor Muslims are in dealing with this subject.
Many honestly believe that we can relive our *own*
childhood where for many of us, our parents just
played the challenge by sticking their heads into the
sand and just hoping that it would all go away.

It won't.

Our refusal to be mature about sexual taboos is going
to cause a catastrophe amongst our youth, and bigger
than the one it is in currently. You cannot avoid this.
Your children *will* get to see and experience these
matters WHATEVER you try and do.

I have made this my own personal crusade for many
years now and as #ProtectThisHouse students will
know, l don't aim to stop any time soon despite many
parents not happy with my approach. See, Muslims
believe that being super religious at home, or making
their kids memorise all and sundry at madrasah, or
sending them to lslamic schools, will somehow
protect them against the prevailing sexual culture that
dominates every aspect of life today. You should be
shaking your head right about now.

I can 100% guarantee to you that if you don't get in to
your children's minds before our modern-day culture
does, you will lose them to that culture. We cannot
blame the kids. We decided to bring them up here, we
have to take responsibility.

How can we blame the kids when we don't have the
courage to look them in the eye and seriously discuss
diff|cult matters which they need to prepare
themselves for? How can we blame the kids when
many parents or soon-to-be parents are so woefully
uneducated about female/male/sexual matters
themselves?

Remember Tampon-gate here on this page not long
ago when I shared my favourite Pharmacyjoke of all
time? You had there grown men Saying they never
knew what a tampon was until way in to marriage!
Unbelievable.

One took offence because he felt it was too sexual.
Mate, if you think a woman gets sexual over tampons,
I fear for you, your wife, and your child big-time.
Unbelievable.

One (yes, your favourite guy with the Arabic-written
name) said that "people with menstrual problems"
would be offended by it. This is what he believes, that
a tampon is some kind of rare emergency solution to
a rare emergency illness. Called menstruation, that big
menstrual problem. Unbelievable.

The key complaint which was entirely valid though
and which should be discussed was that it made
people feel embarrassed, blush, it didn't feel modest
etc. I think this is a fair point, especially if you play
along by keeping all such things taboo as part of your
culture. The quicker we demystify these matters, the
safer our community becomes when it is challenged
outside of their comfort zone. It is completely natural
to feel bashful and shy about these things. But if we
were *all* to be like this, nothing would be said,
nothing would be taught, and we would remain in
ignorance for ever, at risk of being turned in
fascination at the flrst exposure to fltnah. It is not by
accident how we the Muslim laity have somehow
fantastically and fantasy-style sexualised the very
cloth -the niqab - which is theoretically meant to
protect against sexualisation! lt is not by accident that
more and more Muslim countries are reporting huge
numbers of sexual molestation incidents, crass
reports of men desperate in any possible to just speak
to, touch or worse with any kind of woman possible.

Back to female health-care products. I respect that
some want to avoid these matters in public, feel real
uncomfortable saying this to women. But I certainly
don't. I have been teaching women their Deen for
years, and anyone who does that will know most of
the time it is about such "taboo" issues or whatever.
I've been in the healthcare profession for even longer.
This is second nature to me, which in addition to my
own character means I have no problems in this
matter and I will let those who want help/advice to set
the level of sensitivity in our class etc. As for here, I
set that, according to my own standards. And yes for
those who were asking, I would and do talk about
these things to my family, siblings etc. And no, I don't
with my Mum. But not because she's my Mum, but
because she's a Pak. Innit.

But I digress. My plea to you all is to stop over-
sexualising this religion. It is not as "sensitive" as
*you* think it is. Our tradition has sexual activity
allowed at puberty and education about it before that
a *must*, especially in the f|lthy environment we live in
today, online and offline.

We have to have the nerve to speak to our kids and
treat them as more mature than they might seem to
be. The West wants to keep kids as kids for as long as
possible. Muslims cannot afford to do that; we want
our children to enjoy their childhood and then get
ready for adulthood the second they show the
physical signs. And that means being close enough to
them and personal enough with them so that they see
you as their best friend, the one they intimately trust
with *everything*, the one that they will turn to the
second they feel strange about that boy or girl in
school, the one they will turn to when they come
across that porno clip on their friend's iphone, the one
they will come to to explain what they saw happening
behind the proverbial bike shed.

That's only going to happen if you are completely
open with your children, if they feel you're not hiding
anything from them, if they feel super comfortable
with you and completely TRUST you. You have to be
their best friend. Because if you don't, there are
hundreds of other children/adults/ marketing
executives willing to step in at the drop of a hat.

We have to teach our children why it is that people get
involved with these things. These are new challenges,
for a new era, that requires new and brave thinking.
We have to tell them straight up *before* secondary
school what is going to start to happen immediately
and how they need to respond and that they shouldn't
hate themselves for it, but that they need to honour
themselves and others by acting responsibly like
adults and keeping in control, and keeping the right of
Allah in mind at all times. They shouldn't be told that
girls are ugly and boys are all scum, because that will
be proven wrong to them within days, and if not then
then their private parts will conflrm it, and if not then
their bed sheets at home certainly will and yet you
*still* haven't told them what obligates ghusl or not,
but you expect them to pray all the obligatory prayers!
They need to embrace the challenge by being
*empowered* by you, and not trying to escape it.
Because they will become vulnerable. And this culture
*destroys* the vulnerable.

Yes, I spoke to my own children before secondary
school and one of them even at 9 years old. I had to.
They were going to show him sex education videos in
primary school for crying out loud and there's no way
that I was going to allow others to set the agenda for
me. This is not to say that all teachers are the devil
and the curriculum is all evil. No, actually many do a
good sensitive job of the topic and kids learn useful
and responsible lessons in some aspects, but then
some teachers also have their own beliefs of
complete liberty, acceptance of pre-marital sex, the
belief that homosexuality is acceptable etc etc. That
*will* come through. Kids *love* their teachers, and
listen to them more than their parents.

And if you are able to opt out of such lessons, then
YOU had better be able to step up and replace them,
because you can't get your kid to opt out of life. You
have to let go of them sometime. You cannot police
their every second, and neither should you have to.
Either way, opting in or opting out, you need to discuss
with them extensively on these issues, and do so
regularly. You cannot let up even for a second. You
cannot expect your single attempt at "The Birds & The
Bees Talk" to last a lifetime. It is a series of mini
"Talks", on a daily basis if need be, by creating a
relaxed, open environment of trust where your kids
know they can come back to you after their daily
challenges and experiences in the insanity that it is
out there.

It's not going to be easy. It's not going to be easy for
the kids either, heck adults suck at it big time, so what
about them?! We need to be calm, holistic, and try our
best. And make du'a. Plenty of it. Did you see how
many du'as were made by the Prophets for their
children and future generations? lf they need help then
we sure as Heaven do too. No-one said parenting was
going to be easy but the rewards for getting it right are
worth it, believe me. And as for getting it wrong, you'll
never get over it.

Allahumma sallim, sallim."